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Hydroponics

Green Boss

Radworth Ringway, Plot R5

A Victorian corner unit on the ringway with GREEN BOSS across the front and a sign board three and a half metres long carrying a single green leaf, which is about as much as the sign feels it needs to say. Inside, under six strip lights and against mint-green walls, two ceiling speakers play Oakhaven FM to the empty floor.

Green Boss is the name on the kit. The grow set up in the cellar of number 6 Radworth Road carries its label, down to the bags of coir, and the lamp down there runs off the same electricity meter as the rest of the house, the one in the hall.

The kit is the easy part. Down there the lights run to a timer, the temperature wanders on its own from day to day, the humidity follows the fans, and mould stops being recoverable once it has taken half of what you have.

The electricity is what adds up. Twenty-six pence a unit with a sixty pence a day standing charge, taken out of your pocket every week, and the disc in the meter turns for as long as the lamp is on. Draw more than two hundred and seventy-seven units in a week, five times what a house like that would normally use, and somebody official starts wondering why.

The kit in the cellar of number 6 carries the Green Boss label. If you came looking for a weed growing game, here is how the grow works, electric bill and all.

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