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Stellwick · £6,295 on the forecourt

Stellwick Middling

Made for people who would rather not be noticed

The Stellwick Middling in Kettle Silver, a three-quarter front view.

The Stellwick Middling: a 2016 family hatchback in Kettle Silver, and one of the twelve on the forecourt at Cutshaw & Shutt, on the Radworth Ringway. It's fine, as the badge says.

Its advert in the showroom is aimed at people who would rather not be noticed. Ask Gary about its history and he will tell you: Rep's car. All motorway miles - the best kind of miles.

The advert’s headline is Middling. It runs on diesel, holds 50 litres and manages about 60 miles to the gallon in a normal week of driving, so a full tank is good for roughly 660 miles.

“Motorway miles are the best miles. Gentle. Like a cruise ship.”

“I know this car inside out. INSIDE OUT. Trust me on this one.”

“Middling by name, magnificent by nature.”

— Gary Shutt

A parody car advert for the Stellwick Middling: Middling.
Its advert on the showroom wall. Tap to read the small print.
On the forecourt
Price£6,295
Year2016
ColourKettle Silver
On the clock91,500 miles
Owners1, according to Gary
MOT7 months left
Specification
BodyFamily hatchback
Doors5
Seats5
Length4,260 mm
Width1,800 mm
Height1,450 mm
Wheelbase2,640 mm
FuelDiesel
Tank50 litres
Economy60 mpg (Gary says 51)
Rangeabout 660 miles
The Stellwick Middling from the side.

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